Rape & Sexual Abuse – What Is, and What Is Not Consent -For Anyone Unsure

rape culture and consentRape culture…Victim blaming… something that only sociopaths and psychopaths can do & actually believe it. Being raped or abused sexually (or abused period, for that matter,) is something horrifically traumatic, something very evil, a part of you feels stolen…

I am speaking for myself, and I am sure I am not alone in how I feel… Being sexually assaulted or raped somehow can make one feel it was their fault, even though it by no means was. Victim blaming is a sick, heartless lie used by the “people” who are sick and evil enough to commit the vicious crime(s). They say it in an attempt of justification for their wrong doings… but it is not justification, there is NO justification for rape and if anything using lame excuses like they couldn’t resist and others such as below only proves further that they are of a very sick, disturbed mind- blaming the victim instead of the criminal is even more insane and sick.

A woman wearing a short skirt is not inviting you to touch her. Flirting doesn’t mean she (or he) wants to have sex. These selfish and soulless criminals, however, pretend that these are signs of desire, and blame the victim for their own sick, demented behavior. But what I believe is the worst type of victim blaming is given to those who were too afraid to speak; too afraid to say no. To the victims who gave in due to fear; be it from flashbacks, childhood memories, mental illness, or simply being too afraid or shocked to say no.

When your body actions show you want to get away yet your too afraid to scream out “no” or “stop” for whatever reason, that does not mean you consented to sex. If you tried to move away and they forced you and hurt you, you are a victim and a survivor of rape or sexual assault; just because you were too afraid to say no does not mean you suffered any less than those who said no.

Consensual sex is obvious; when two people want each other, it’s very well felt and shown. A person really doesn’t need to say no when they are trying to move away from the other person, for that action alone is saying no. Fear is powerful, especially in times of fear and when a traumatic event strikes.

Yet still, victims remain blamed by far too many. The criminals remain free, and the injustice system continues to roll along. A bit of personal information regarding my attack… I got up the nerve to ask someone I trusted greatly; someone who had also lived in the town for their entire life and knew who everyone was, and how it all worked. A man in his 60s, a professional, told me it would be best to not speak, because the person who abused me in that horrific way not only knew the majority of the people in that area, but he had family in “law enforcement” –

So my dear friend pointed out the obvious; I stood no chance against him in court, no one would believe me and even if they did, no punishment would have come to this so called man, for he had all the connections he needed to abuse as he saw fit.

I wonder how many other women go through these exact same things? I know of others I can’t speak of due to confidentiality -and respect- but it makes me wonder about all those I haven’t worked with, haven’t met and don’t know… What is wrong with this society, what is it that makes the government believe little to no punishment should fall upon the true criminals? How can they sleep at night knowing they are allowing horrific crimes to continue on?

A study in 2011 found approximately 1 in 5 women in the US have experienced some form of rape and/or sexual assault. And while thousands of people are raped or sexually assaulted in some way each year ( bare in mind, these are those whom we know of- I believe the numbers are much higher personally; also, I think the study excluded child sexual abuse), only 1% of the American prison population consists of sex offenders.

Thousands of victims a year
So why is that 1% not much higher, as it should be?

After all, they tearing down schools to build prisons, they are running out of room in the ones we currently have… Who’s taking up all that space?

I’ll tell you my belief.

The government and corporations do not care about the victimized survivors of sexual crimes nor women. I’ve dealt with this when working at a police brutality agency, where we often struggled to get the police to consider rape cases (not joking), to sick jokes I’ve heard about those brave enough to step up against their attacker, made by those in power.

But it’s not only personal experience. Research has shown a good deal of politicians and government officials for many years now have been rather fond of abusing women for sex, in fact. That’s not to say all are like that of course. But I think most would agree most of those in positions of power are not the most…respectful or classy, for lack of better phrase.

So my personal answer is the majority do not view women as equals, so they don’t care. They want money, and believe women should “stay out of trouble” – as if it is our fault. (It is never the victims fault!) And they can generate money by focusing on easy targets, on easy cases, on unjust laws… (COINTELPRO proves this) – research it, you can read official documents by the FBI speaking of it…

So building off of the above basis, everyone should know and understand the American prison industry is nothing more than another corporation; it is a giant money making scheme.

And that isn’t a paranoid thought; that is (and will be in my next post) provable. From federal and state to horrific private prisons, it’s all about money. The War on Drugs caused an explosion of cash for the greedy, disgusting people behind the scenes of America’s prison industry.

They are putting the wrong people in prison; drug offenders do not belong there. It’s a fact that rehabilitation is not only cheaper for tax payers but also more successful than prison when it is done in community facilities, which then create a support system for the person and in their area to stay off and away from drugs. But despite the lower cost and higher success rate, the majority of local and state governments don’t fund these facilities. So you can forget about the federal government funding it.

Cops seek out easy victims whom are really in need of help not punishment… they are taken before a judge and sentenced to a mandatory number of years.

So, a group of people get busted for smoking marijuana and they get mandatory prison time; a record that makes legitimate work in the future almost impossible to find… And yet the predators committing sexual crimes are given a slap on the wrist. Let us not forget, for example, recently a judge gave an old perverted teacher 30 days in jail for raping his 14 year old student. She tragically ended up taking her life. He should be in prison not only for rape, but for her death as well. But he’s not, because they need space for the people who get them “easy money”.

I feel much safer walking down the street around guys they have locked up for years due to drugs than I do walking in some parts of my neighborhood because I found out online there is an abnormally high rate of sex offenders around the area I live in. They have their photo online, sure, but when you’re out and about, it’s not so easy to recall those faces, is it?

Sex offenders can and do live, anywhere. All they have to do is let it be known; a sign, put their name on a PC database and boom, they are on the streets again. People like that do not change; a rapist (including sexual assault) could not hurt, sexually abuse and rob someone of their most intimate and private places if they truly had a conscience. There is no way someone with a conscience could do that sort of thing. They deserve extreme punishment…punishment the government is not giving to them.

It’s a well known fact people without a conscience such as psychopaths and sociopaths do not change because they cannot change. They don’t suddenly develop a sense of empathy and human compassion. They are great actors though, reciting what they know they need to do to get back on the streets, fooling doctors and prison officials alike.

Knowing how these demented people “think” and work,  it blows my mind that police, judges, etc even give them a chance to ‘redeem’ themselves. And I’m all for rehabilitation, but let’s face it; that isn’t what happens the majority of time in prison, but what’s worse is those without a conscience cannot be helped. Yet, somehow they still get the above noted officials to fall for their lies, trickery and manipulations.

So the Prison industry lets the real criminals go free a great deal of the time, all while punishing people who need help, not bars. In doing so, they are saying the violation and robbery upon survivors of sexual assault and rape are either not worth their time, or, the victim was, “asking for it.” …. So tonight, child molesters, rapists and other real threats to society roam around freely when they should be taking the place of those whom need help with addiction and/or unemployment.

But instead of locking these horrific beings away as they do someone with a drug problem, they overwhelmingly release these back on the street within months, sometimes sooner, and that’s if anything is even done about it.

I’ll end this post here with this: no matter what you look like, how you dress, where you hang out… Regardless of if you were able to verbally say no to the creep, it is not your fault. The person to blame is the person whom committed the crime; not the one who was victimized. The media coverage of rape, especially among teenagers, demoralizes girls making it seem as if it were our fault for what these guys did. They “can’t help it” they are “just being guys” – that’s the weakest excuse ever. A real man doesn’t even consider doing these things. Yet I recall the media, FOX news in particular, sympathizing with a group of teenage football players, who not only raped a poor, young drunk teenage girl, but took photos and posted them online for everyone to see. They got away with this…. What a sick society….

The government is responsible as well, as noted above when I spoke of prisons and money. I’ll write more on that on my other page, this post I wanted to mainly stand as a reminder that the victim is never to blame… And just as important, if you were too afraid to say no and yet you didn’t want to go through what you did; it is not your fault, you are not crazy, you WERE victimized as well, and your pain and rights are just as legitimate as every other rape and sexual assault victim in the world.

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