Soon I will be starting (I think) my own webpage about this so that it doesn’t overrun the purpose of this website, however for now this is where all my posts regarding domestic abuse and violence will be going. This post is sparked by something I’ve seen all of my life, and something I got to be involved in, yet again, tonight.
I won’t go into details, the details aren’t important to share. The point of what I want to write is for those who are suffering. I don’t know if I can make a difference but I am at least going to try. , why do so many abuse victims stay, especially when it is hurting their children, biological or not? I understand why it is so hard to leave, but just because it is hard does not mean you should give up your life to ‘live’ under their control.
(I understand men can and are victim to domestic violence; that is all too real and wrong. When I write about it on my page though, I must write about it in the manner I saw / see it. Please understand there is no disrespect intended towards male victims)
For my mom, she claims because it is too scary and she is too old. She had her first and only chance in over 50 years to leave him recently and at the last moment changed her mind and let him back in the house.
All children who have had to, as I have, grow up around abuse won’t feel the same, obviously. Some kids leave the house and never look back. Some kids try to fix it and save their parent or I guess even parentS. I feel the need to save my mom, desperately. But I no longer can, I realize she has to make the move herself, I have done everything in my ability to help… So why do I still feel guilty?
The point of me sharing this is because I can’t stress to people who are in abusive relationships (especially with kids) enough that it not only is harmful for you, but your children as well. I know it is scary, and I know you may love him, or you may fear poverty, whatever your worries are, they are valid and I do not think you are weak. I think you are strong, actually. But we all get to a point when enough is enough, I hope someone reading this will realize that this is their point and take action to get away.
I am by no means an expert, but I’ve lived through it and still am as long as I am at home. Even when I’m with my husband, my mind is never at peace, my life is never worry-fear because I fear what is going on without me here to stop it. I fear I’m going to get a phone call one day that isn’t “he almost did it this time but” and is instead “I have bad news to tell you…”
No child or adult should have to live with a person with those capabilities, the court and legal system should punish them, period, not to mention a lot more harshly than they do. I don’t think I’ll ever get my mom to realize how much pain she has inflicted upon me because of her choices, but I hope this post makes you think of yourself, the life you could have, and if you have kids, how the life you’re currently leading impacts them as well as you…not only do I hope it makes you think about that, I hope you will realize you and children also deserve better.