I feel it is vital that women share their stories, however, I understand a lot of women don’t for many different reasons, and that is understandable and okay. Anti-choicers do attack, and will attack, anyone that admits having an abortion. Today I was reminded of this by a silly comment on my instagram, this photo to be exact:
Typically, the anti used name calling hate filled words as they attempted to “make me feel guilty”. The thing is, they failed. It took me 2 days during my abortion procedure to realize how heartless these people were, and that I was NOT a murderer or any of the other horrible things they screamed at me. I walked in with pride after that, and I walked out with pride.
Since that day almost two years ago, nothing an Anti says or can say has impacted me negatively or made me hate myself or regret my choice. All it does is make me feel sorry and worry for women who have yet to realize many anti’s (no- not all, but too many) are hate filled and want nothing more than to hurt you, so they resort to name calling as they have no legitimate argument.
I do delete the comments because I know not all women are ready to be called such horrible names, and that’s okay too. No woman should ever have to endure the name calling or verbal assault and harassment that too many anti’s spew both online and in person.
I deal with the death threats, the name calling and the “murderer!” comments with sickness. I’ll be honest, however. At the time of my first abortion, before the procedure, I was walking into the clinic for day 1 of 3 (thanks to the 72 hour waiting period), as anti’s stood at the main entrance, calling me numerous things, including a murderer. At the time it did hurt my feelings, but I knew in my heart I was doing the right thing. So even if the fetus had been “alive” (which I don’t believe but even if it were alive while developing) I would have still gone through with the procedure. Proudly.
A murderer? Hardly. There is no promise a fetus will be born or become a life. I understand women who want the pregnancy refer to the fetus as their baby and if they have a miscarriage or still birth they treat it as if they lost a child. As I always say, each woman is different and each pregnancy is different.
Just as acceptable and understandable, some women who have abortion will feel the same, and it is okay to mourn. I did. Make no mistake, I never regretted it, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel sad for the situation.
I mourned the fact that I wasn’t ready to have a child. I mourned the fact that I couldn’t be who I thought everyone else wanted me to be and I mourned the fact that the pregnancy had come at the time it did, before I was ready, before I wanted it.
But never did I regret it. In fact, to this day I get waves of relief at times when I think about what it would have been like had I not had an abortion. I am proud of my choice, it was a choice made from my heart and with the knowledge of what was best not only for me, but for the fetus to be child.
I loved enough to think into the future, and I knew that one way or another, I would end up killing myself over it. My life had finally changed for the better and I, for the first time, did not want to die…Unless I had to endure the pregnancy. Thanks to Whole Woman’s Health, I didn’t have to take my life, and the fetus did not have to be brought into a world where it would have only suffered.
Women know if it is time or not to have a child, and the quality of a child’s life as well as the woman’s life -including timing- these are some of the most important factors when it comes to pregnancy, birth and abortion. If a child is not what the woman wants, it is an inhumane crime to give birth simply because a group of hate-filled anti’s tell you to.
Abortion is not wrong. It is not murder. It is a medical procedure. There is no right or wrong way to respond to abortion. Abortion does not mean you can not have children at a later time nor does it mean you are at a higher risk of developing a mental illness or any form of cancer, including breast cancer. In fact, research shows it is those who do give birth that are at a higher risk for mental health issues among other.
I am not saying giving birth is bad; I am simply saying that what anti’s want you to believe is not true. And those are facts you can look up and that can be proven. You also can simply look in your heart; if you it is right inside, then that’s all the ‘research’ and confirmation you need to know. It is not bad to need or want an abortion. Given 1 in 3 of us will or have had one, it is very normal. And as long as it is legal, it will remain safe.