I apologize for being away, yet again, for so long. Another bout of silence occurred, but by no means have I been inactive with abortion rights. However, I am going to post the following because it is an issue of great importance, and if anyone out there may be thinking upon these same things, they can now know, they are not alone in these questions.
When is too much, too much? Is it a valid reason to walk away after you’ve seen a part of someone many times, but had them act upon it only once or say twice? Is that enough? Once a person has been attacked by the person they trust, it really only takes that one time for them to become a frightened child towards them after seeing the side that is too familiar- the side sworn they did not have within them. I believe unless a man is being physically attacked, there is never a reason for him to do anything physical to a woman. Ever.
For most people abuse of any kind is a reason to walk away. Not just abuse, but neglect, hurt feelings, broken words and on and on we go.
But a person who has been broken all their life by abusive words, physical threats and action; be it witnessing, living as the direct victim, or both; they may be more likely to stay, unsure if it is really a situation bad enough to leave. Hoping the next promise keeps- no one wants to be without the person they love, the person they trusted. So the cycle continues.
It is heartbreaking because words can’t hospitalize any more than so called ‘minor’ physical advances. Neither one allows for a physical mark, so…why should either matter?
Because the heart is wounded. Because what if that one time was the one time needed to steal the other persons will to live?
They both, verbal and physical, matter and they both matter just as deeply as if you were laying in ICU. It should be easy to understand how and why even in the middle of an argument (which arguments are of course normal) when excessively harsh words are lashed out or a physical attack occurs, it should be clear how this could easily destroy the trust that soul has for the attacker.
We all say and do things we don’t mean. But there is a limitation in most of us, a will to control; and when surpassed it opens up endless possibilities for the time it is awake. Knowing that it can be awakened is terrifying.
But what I am unsure of is can a traumatized soul trust that one person they used to deem safe again after seeing a side of them they thought was no longer their life? It amplifies the hurt of the momentary words of anger; it amplifies the actions of physical acceleration…because they broke the trust, and breaking trust in a soul who had given it all to only one soul can be pretty fatal.