Such a true quote… So; am I proud I had an abortion? A late-term? Yes, very. No, this does not mean I hate kids; quiet the opposite, I adore them and realized abortion is okay no matter why you want it; you owe no one an explanation, but I’m going to sum mine up for anyone who may be in a similar place. But you don’t NEED to have a dramatic reason, not wanting to be a mom….that’s just as valid as not wanting to have a kid for any other reason.
When a woman, such as myself, has an unwanted and unexpected pregnancy, has an abortion and feels relief, not regret, it’s because I do not believe I had a child inside of me. I had a late-term abortion, and abortion is not always an easy choice; but sometimes it is. Mine wasn’t, mainly because I wanted to please others but in the end I realized it would kill me and that not myself nor my spouse were ready. The child deserved better, I don’t want another human suffering in ways I have. And I feel so much relief and GRATITUDE for the abortionist who performed the abortion, as well as the kind, loving staff.
I believe when birth is given and the infant takes its first breath of life, the soul enters and it is then which means you have a life. Now you have a kid. Embryos, the Fetus and being pregnant only means you have the growing possibility of giving birth and then dedicating your life to another being, or, ignoring it, or, having a medical procedure to save you from forced motherhood and the potential child from suffering in a life/world/whatever reason you have for wanting to abort.
SOME BELIEVE IT STARTS AT CONCEPTION… While I disagree,
what I do agree with is, even if that were true, abortion would still be acceptable and a lot of the time also the most moral thing to do. This following article says it better than anyone I’ve ever heard, especially when I disagree with their view of birth being at conception.
Quality of life is the most vital bit of information to me. Knowing you’re pregnant but don’t wanna be, knowing you will be bringing an innocent being into this world to suffer in any way, or knowing it will cause YOU to suffer in ANY way, including simply not wanting a kid; those all matter more than something which is starting to form and isn’t a promise but a potential.
I’m posting Abortion is NOT Murder, for I do not believe you can murder something that has never been in this world, taken breaths without it’s mother or screamed and shouted at the nurses and doctors to say “I’m Alive!”
Anti’s disregard what LIFE will be like after a successful birth. That’s not responsible NOR is it mature. Having a child is a big deal; thinking about what the future will be like for YOU, your family AND the potential kid is responsible and INTELLIGENT not to mention, it shows you have a heart and CARE.
If you realize it is not time or you don’t want a kid or especially if you know it will be brought into a world where it will suffer, be abused and so on…;or worse; if you know you’re just going to give it up for adoption; to an overcrowded foster home, and hope it’s adopted…if any of those are things you can overlook or hope will vanish in time or hope having a baby will improve things, so you give birth anyway KNOWING it is unhealthy for the child…You’re acting as a very cruel, thoughtless and selfish soul.
You can’t be a good mom, if you ask me, for to be a good mom, the child has to come first. By giving birth when you don’t want to but especially when you know suffering awaits the child, that’s truly cruel and in my opinion should be a crime.
Abortion is not an evil, wrong act. The following is being shared because either way, I’d support abortion; and also it is a post I hope those who believe conception is that life sparking moment, will think about what she says for it is true.
Kids deserve more; and I’ve yet to see many anti’s who say they are Pro-Life BEHAVE in such way.
Oh yeah, let me remind you why miscarriage and abortions aren’t the same thing (trust me some anti’s get confused). The difference is also further explained in her article which comes after I share this:
When a woman has a miscarriage, I am sure to her the fetus growing inside her was already something she loved as her child, so to her, it a child. I am sure that is being grieved upon as well because what we believe and want is very powerful over our emotions. At the end of the day I think women grieve for the child that they never got to have but wanted, I believe it is grief felt over the pregnancy being lost and her having to cope with sudden, harsh changes. No longer can she plan for the birth or for the baby. Over the next 9 months she won’t be giving birth to a child as she has been expecting and doing up until this point.
Women whom want to have a baby will call it their child, their baby; of course. And if she felt she had a child within her that she wanted to give birth to, of course she will grieve over that but to put it simply, it is grieving over the loss of a pregnancy. Grieving because they wanted a baby, became pregnant and then something went wrong and the chance of a baby resulting from that pregnancy is over.
Abortion, on the other hand, deals with bigger issues; the mother, health, safety and the fetus, whether the woman is ready, wants to be a mom, is the fetus healthy, etc. This doesn’t mean having an abortion shouldn’t or won’t make you sad. Nor does it mean you must grieve or you’re sick in the head.
I was sad because I didn’t want to let my husband down (and now I know he was happy about the choice), but I was overjoyed when I woke up, finally NOT PREGNANT. I had one day as my hormones and emotions tried to balance out where I cried. But after your emotions get back to normal and your hormone levels get sorted out, those random bouts -if you even have them- vanish. Decades upon decades of resarch shows aprox 98% of women do NOT regret their abortion. I am one of the 98%.
All that is to say, there is no right or wrong way to respond to having an abortion, how you respond is normal and thousands of other women have experienced what you feel, just and thousands of other women would join me in saying they were grateful right away. Grieve if you need; but don’t let it consume you. If you don’t feel the need to grieve or feel sad over the situation but can move on, then that’s what you do. If you are glad it’s over and just wanna move on, that, too is totally normal.
THERE’S NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY TO RESPOND TO ABORTION!
Conception or birth meaning life has formed both are two points of views that do not matter in my eyes. The time isn’t relevant at this point. Why? I’ve shared why abortion is acceptable from my point of view (though I’d still support abortion if I believed conception starts life, as she does). Below, a Pro-Choicer explains why abortion is acceptable and okay as long as it’s want you want, even though she believes it to be a life from the very beginning.
So what if abortion ends life? I believe that life starts at conception. And it’s never stopped me from being pro-choice VIDEO
By Mary Elizabeth Williams
Of all the diabolically clever moves the anti-choice lobby has ever pulled, surely one of the greatest has been its consistent co-opting of the word “life.” Life! Who wants to argue with that? Who wants be on the side of … not-life? That’s why the language of those who support abortion has for so long been carefully couched in other terms. While opponents of abortion eagerly describe themselves as “pro-life,” the rest of us have had to scramble around with not nearly as big-ticket words like “choice” and “reproductive freedom.” The “life” conversation is often too thorny to even broach. Yet I know that throughout my own pregnancies, I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice.
As Roe v. Wade enters its fifth decade, we find ourselves at one of the most schizo moments in our national relationship with reproductive choice. In the past year we’ve endured the highest number of abortion restrictions ever. Yet support for abortion rights is at an all-time high, with seven in 10 Americans in favor of letting Roe v. Wade stand, allowing for reproductive choice in all or “most” cases. That’s a stunning 10 percent increase from just a decade ago. And in the midst of this unique moment, Planned Parenthood has taken the bold step of reframing the vernacular – moving away from the easy and easily divisive words “life” and “choice.” Instead, as a new promotional film acknowledges, “It’s not a black and white issue.”
It’s a move whose time is long overdue. It’s important, because when we don’t look at the complexities of reproduction, we give far too much semantic power to those who’d try to control it. And we play into the sneaky, dirty tricks of the anti-choice lobby when we on the pro-choice side squirm so uncomfortably at the ways in which they’ve repeatedly appropriated the concept of “life.”
Here’s the complicated reality in which we live: All life is not equal. That’s a difficult thing for liberals like me to talk about, lest we wind up looking like death-panel-loving, kill-your-grandma-and-your-precious-baby storm troopers. Yet a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides. She’s the boss. Her life and what is right for her circumstances and her health should automatically trump the rights of the non-autonomous entity inside of her. Always.
When we on the pro-choice side get cagey around the life question, it makes us illogically contradictory. I have friends who have referred to their abortions in terms of “scraping out a bunch of cells” and then a few years later were exultant over the pregnancies that they unhesitatingly described in terms of “the baby” and “this kid.” I know women who have been relieved at their abortions and grieved over their miscarriages. Why can’t we agree that how they felt about their pregnancies was vastly different, but that it’s pretty silly to pretend that what was growing inside of them wasn’t the same? Fetuses aren’t selective like that. They don’t qualify as human life only if they’re intended to be born.
When we try to act like a pregnancy doesn’t involve human life, we wind up drawing stupid semantic lines in the sand: first trimester abortion vs. second trimester vs. late term, dancing around the issue trying to decide if there’s a single magic moment when a fetus becomes a person. Are you human only when you’re born? Only when you’re viable outside of the womb? Are you less of a human life when you look like a tadpole than when you can suck on your thumb?
We’re so intimidated by the wingnuts, we get spooked out of having these conversations. We let the archconservatives browbeat us with the concept of “life,” using their scare tactics on women and pushing for indefensible violations like forced ultrasounds. Why? Because when they wave the not-even-accurate notion that “abortion stops a beating heart” they think they’re going to trick us into some damning admission. They believe that if we call a fetus a life they can go down the road of making abortion murder. And I think that’s what concerns the hell out of those of us who support unrestricted reproductive freedom.
But we make choices about life all the time in our country. We make them about men and women in other nations. We make them about prisoners in our penal system. We make them about patients with terminal illnesses and accident victims. We still have passionate debates about the justifications of our actions as a society, but we don’t have to do it while being bullied around by the vague idea that if you say we’re talking about human life, then the jig is up, rights-wise.
It seems absurd to suggest that the only thing that makes us fully human is the short ride out of some lady’s vagina. That distinction may apply neatly legally, but philosophically, surely we can do better. Instead, we let right-wingers perpetuate the sentimental fiction that no one with a heart — and certainly no one who’s experienced the wondrous miracle of family life — can possibly resist tiny fingers and tiny toes growing inside a woman’s body. We give a platform to the notion that, as Christina Locke opined in a recent New York Times Op-Ed, “motherhood had slyly changed us. We went from basking in the rights that feminism had afforded us to silently pledging never to exercise them. Nice mommies don’t talk about abortion.”
Don’t they? The majority of women who have abortions – and one in three American women will – are already mothers. And I can say anecdotally that I’m a mom who loved the lives she incubated from the moment she peed on those sticks, and is also now well over 40 and in an experimental drug trial. If by some random fluke I learned today I was pregnant, you bet your ass I’d have an abortion. I’d have the World’s Greatest Abortion.
My belief that life begins at conception is mine to cling to. And if you believe that it begins at birth, or somewhere around the second trimester, or when the kid finally goes to college, that’s a conversation we can have, one that I hope would be respectful and empathetic and fearless. We can’t have it if those of us who believe that human life exists in utero are afraid we’re somehow going to flub it for the cause. In an Op-Ed on “Why I’m Pro-Choice” in the Michigan Daily this week, Emma Maniere stated, quite perfectly, that “Some argue that abortion takes lives, but I know that abortion saves lives, too.” She understands that it saves lives not just in the most medically literal way, but in the roads that women who have choice then get to go down, in the possibilities for them and for their families. And I would put the life of a mother over the life of a fetus every single time — even if I still need to acknowledge my conviction that the fetus is indeed a life. A life worth sacrificing.