Women, Domestic Abuse & Our Rights to Equal Employment [part1]

*Soon I will have a page strictly for Domestic Abuse/Violence related issues, for now…. That’s what this one is going to focus on.

I am outraged abuse survivors or women a woman in an abusive relationship can actually be, and are too frequently, fired for being the victim of domestic violence. Being abused or a survivor of abuse is not something an employer legally can fire anyone for; at least, it should not be. Yet while there is no shortage on cases, there seems to be a great shortage on media coverage. It’s domestic violence and abuse stigma help .jpgnot talked about enough, so below is some of my compiled research I’ve written up and put together regarding this unbelievable social, women and human/civil rights violation which is swept under the rug.

Doing a simple, quick web search I found over 10 cases ranging in dates form 2013-2016. Imagine how many are found when I dug deeper? I’m going to share a few below and have found many more for anyone interested in receiving them.

On January 13th, 2013, a woman by the name of Natasha Velez’s boyfriend at the time attacked her; she was left with her finger fractured and was further battered and assaulted relentlessly…-as he was choking her-
(*Note the obvious psychological damage and pain should also be included on that list; but psychological problems tend to be kept silent or ignored).

She worked at New York City Chipotle (I’ll never eat there again), and went to work early for her next scheduled shift to speak with her manager about what happened, show him the documentation from police reports, her visit to the emergency room and the splint they placed on her finger.

After getting a protection order she saw then saw a doctor whom said she needed time to heal and that she shouldn’t work until the 28th. She went to speak with her manager again; she handed him a note from the doctor saying Natasha couldn’t work until the 28th. Additionally, she brought him the protection order against her boyfriend -which included prohibiting him from going anywhere near her place of employment; so obviously it banned him from entering the establishment as well.

Her manager responded by firing her on the spot, telling her that she

    “had too many issues outside of work.”

Before I go on I must say:

I’ve seen only a couple of people (and that’s a couple too many) comment that he was dangerous and if they were her manager they’d have been fearful and thinking, ‘What if he caused problems for me or the workplace?’ or ‘What about the other employees and my own safety?’

[ To those heartless and self-centered people I only say, you only add make society worse for victims and are truly an affliction and bane in the suffering victims cope with but also are an unfortunate affliction on society. ]  

Before I move on, I want to share this one last woman’s reason for being fired. [Because of domestic violence victim fired.JPGher being fired for being a victim of abuse, California state Gov. Jerry Brown (D) has signed and secured a statewide law to protect women from being fired a victim. Discussed more on next post.]

This woman’s name is Carie Charlesworth and is a mother of their 4 kids. She was a second grade school at the same school her kids attended. She also was abused and lived for years -as too many victims do- silently, under her husband’s cruel abuse; verbal, mental and physical.

Before I move on, here is an example story- She says this is the first incident. It’s barely touching her life so I urge you to read her full post in the link which follows.

She was returning home and called her husband to let him know she was stuck in traffic and would be late in getting in. When she did, she wasn’t able to even get out of her car, and had sleeping kids in the backseat as her face was bashed in by her husband’s fists. Why?

His sick reaction is parallel with a great number of abusers. After stewing in his poor, taut, seething wroth  -gods know why- he decided she was cheating, not in traffic. He said he knew where she really was and what she really was doing. And so now, with his false yet freshly self-created lie, he waited for her to arrive.

As I noted, when she pulled in he rushed for towards the car. He blocked the door and grabbed her keys, so she couldn’t drive anywhere or get out. Then, with his fists he began beating her face as she remained in the car. [During this, her daughters were allegedly asleep in the backseat; but we (kids) hear and see more than you know.]

Finally, the beating stopped when he saw blood was covering her face; with blood dripping out of a deep incision one of his punches created close to Carie’s eye.

That night Carie received five stitches across her face. She couldn’t tell anyone the truth so instead she told everyone it was due to being hit in the head during the concert she had gone to (I wonder how she maintained that lie to her kids). She did not report this incident, and of course he never apologized to her. And that is just his introduction.

She states, in shock, “You don’t want to admit that this is happening by the person who is supposed to love you the most.”

To read more of her life as a victim of domestic violence, you can read more of her survivor story by clicking here.

Finally, after being abused for too many years and attempting to improve/save their marriage, she divorced him. He was very unhappy with this, obviously. No abuser wants the victim to escape and end their control. Trying to grasp at anything he could to get under her skin, Carie recalls him saying,

“He said we would still be married in the eyes of the church. Even if we divorced, I was still technically his wife, he would say.” She says he was determined to catch Carie with another man. “That’s partly why the stalking started.”

She went to the principal about her ex-husband’s abuse, their divorce and that she had a 10 year restraining order against him. It is stated

After what Carie describes as a “hard weekend” of dealing  with her ex-husband, calling 911 and police numerous times and calling the police department to report the weekend problems.

After that, she went into work and told her principal about the abuse she had undergone for so long and finally escaped; she told him about the stalking. Showing the protection orders for him to not enter her place of work and other files, she asked the principal if they would just keep an eye out for him in case he decided to try and see her at school.

Which he did.

Before he could get inside, however, the school was put on lock down and he was arrested. After his lawyer tried to lie Martin to ‘innocence’, saying he only went because he could not reach his wife and he was worried about their children at the school.

In the end he plead guilty to “stalking or making a criminal threat.” A sentence he allegedly was to serve for a year in jail with four years of probation after,  he ended up instead being let out of prison between 5 to 5 & 1/2 months. The ones whom received the true punishment for HIS behavior and actions was not Martin; of course not. It was Carie and her kids. The next day in a letter sent to all parents at the school both Carie and her kids were harshly punished by the school. Not taken in during such a hard time; but hurt, shoved out and humiliated.

Both Carie and all of her kids were marked down as away on an indefinite leave of absence

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from the school for the same reason. In an open letter says this information was relayed. But hey! They are Christians! So you better be sure and pray for this single mother and her four children as she is stalked by her former husband. You can read the full letter by clicking the side photo.

In the below response, she desperately speaks on this punishment. This is such a real and sad truth! We should not be afraid of being judged by others for being a victim of domestic violence and we sure as hell should not have to worry about losing our job because we survived! To ABC News Carie stated:

  “I think I did everything that I was supposed to do by informing the principal that this was happening. I’ve done everything they tell a victim to do and yet I still got punished because he made the choice to show up to school that day.”

Then, three months after the school incident, Carie received a letter from the Christian school. They wrote to her to inform that her ‘ her teaching contract at the school would not be renewed. They felt she made the school unsafe, she was told. And her already traumatized kids, they too posed serious threat to the school. Yep. All 4 kids; ranging from the youngest being two years old, others in kindergarten and finally, her oldest, was in 8th grade. She was told needed to ensure her children did not return to school, as well.

“I was devastated. My whole life was teaching.” To lose her job, her source of income, and to have the school turn their backs on her and make her feel like the criminal, Carie says, “felt like a stab in the heart.”

To add salt to the wound, she was not only terminated to teach at their, “Holy Trinity” school where her husband caused these problems, but she was also denied being able to teach school at any other schools in the area of Diocese, San Diego. (You can see the letter to the left.)

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Not because of her wrong doing, but because of her trying to do the right thing. She can’t teach in this large area because of her cruel ex-husband’s actions; because she is an abuse victim.

She was also informed via this letter [on the left], and fired…and then informed her her children were not allowed to attend school, either, and they should find a new school.

Once more, she shouldn’t fear anything, however. These people whom are so loving and compassionate towards souls in need; they will continue to pray. And this is apparently legal in her case, as they are covered and allowed to be selective, biased, condescending and cruel under the law, ‘Religious Exemption’. Things that are illegal and legal in America doesn’t mean it’s right, as we can look throughout history and see. Or look now as they continue to try and make abortion illegal once more; which is yet again disgusting, cruel and dangerous towards real lives; women’s lives.

Our rights as women are in danger.(I know, men are abused too but this is regarding women; please understand). Abortion is not murder nor cruel; yet still our rights to safe and legal abortion is being challenged, yet again. They will, ever get rid of abortion. If they succeed they will only make bring a tragic rise in death of women; again. The same goes for domestic violence; though there is a lot of help available, it isn’t easy to obtain. A lot of women, including women I’ve spoken with, aborted because they needed to escape their partner. That is a moral and respectable choice to me. Putting the future of a potential life ahead of your own to prevent it suffering; that’s pretty damn noble in my book.

These were but two of the cases I shared; in my next post I’m going to be writing and sharing further information on this topic and it’s impact on abuse victims, their lives, their health, their children and what the legal system -both state and federal- say regarding  abused women being fired; abused as current or past alike. It’s disgusting but far more interesting than you may think.

Because of Carie, for example, California governor made firing women like this illegal statewide; as I said, I’ll write details of the women’s right law to equal employment in the post to follow. California and 6 other states have made similar rulings. Again, this sort of thing is not uncommon, in fact, it seems to me it is becoming more common. Women need to know and share what they know so we can stand up and demand our rights and the rights of fellow women be equal to those of non-abused women.

Next post up soon.